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How To Snap Out Of Loneliness
In a world bursting with overpopulation, it is ironic that millions suffer from loneliness. Relationships matter. We thrive on our connection to family, friends and community. Life is living with other people. Humans are social animals, and to stay healthy we need the acceptance, love and support of others.
Loneliness is a subjective experience. It has no boundaries. Loneliness can happen to anyone, young or old, rich or poor, single or married, educated or uneducated. Lack of communality, so there is a sense of isolation even when surrounded by crowds. It is trapped within the walls that separate and alienate a person from those around them. Jeffrey Young describes three types of loneliness.
– Brief: Everyone experiences brief periods of loneliness or loneliness. Something so incredible and exciting happened that it became important to savor the moment alone. Or in a fit of rage and need to calm down and regain control.
– Situation: Circumstances such as bereavement, loss of a job, arguments with a spouse or friends, or separation from family due to travel can lead to periods of loneliness. However, this is temporary.
– Chronic loneliness is a symptom of depression. A person withdraws to himself, becomes melancholy and withdrawn. He feels that he is not wanted or needed by anyone and that life is not worth living. Warren Wiersbe called it “malnutrition of the soul”.
– Solitude must be distinguished from loneliness. It’s just physical separation for a purpose. Creative people seek solitude so they can focus on their work without interruptions. Writers like JD Salinger and poets like Emily Dickenson prefer to be reclusive.
Many also seek solitude for prayer and meditation.
Causes of loneliness:
1. No time for meaningful relationships. Frequent job transfers make it impossible to take root. Some people take a long time to make friends, and when they do, they’re ready to move.
2. Competitiveness. A person becomes preoccupied with himself, too busy being successful in life.
3. Fame and status can be segregated. Someone said, “Success can be as cold and lonely as the North Pole”.
4. Fear of physical contact with strangers: people who live alone, especially elderly people or women who live in areas with no close neighbors.
5. The impersonal and unfriendly society common in big cities.
6. Disappearance of extended family. Wives are deprived of security and friendship.
7. Emotional isolation of spouses trapped in lonely and isolated marriages.
8. Empty nest syndrome. Women feel they have lost the important role of motherhood.
10. Lack of communication skills.
11. Physical disability or feeling too fat, too thin, or too ugly.
12. Financial Restrictions.
13. Sickness and fear of impending death.
• Lack of friends in childhood and adolescence can be a trigger for loneliness.
• Rejected or hurt as a child. They feel unloved, and because of these destructive experiences, they fear being hurt again.
• Lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. They cannot love themselves and are full of self-pity.
• Guilt. Quarantine prevents them from repeating their mistakes.
• Psychological problems such as depression, mental illness, or physical contact phobias.
• Socially disruptive events in life, such as the breakdown of a marriage. Life after a breakup can feel like death. “Falling in love is very easy, but falling out of love is very scary,” says Beth Myerson.
• Losing a spouse or child can lead to prolonged grief and separation from family and friends.
– Inability to love God or love yourself or your neighbor.
– Anger can make a person lonely and alien to himself. “Bitter is a poison pill that we swallow so that the other person dies.”
Effects of loneliness:
1. Multiple medical studies have shown that those who self-isolate are 3 times more likely to suffer from a heart attack. The US Framingham Heart Study (2005) showed that lonely people had elevated levels of interleukin 6 (IL 6 ), a chemical linked to heart disease.
Other studies have shown a decrease in HDL (good cholesterol), an increase in bad cholesterol LDH, and increases in blood pressure and blood sugar. Loneliness suppresses the immune system. Infection becomes serious. Viral infections such as herpes (genital and oral) are difficult to cure.
The extremities become cold due to narrowing of peripheral blood vessels. (vasoconstriction)
Can a man die of loneliness? Studies have shown that it may cause premature death. It is said that lonely people live shorter lives.
2. High propensity to become addicted to drugs, alcohol, tobacco or other substances.
3. Loners may be angry, cynical, or hostile. So people keep their distance from them.
4. Loners hurt themselves not only physically but also emotionally and mentally.
How to cure loneliness:
• Analyze why you are lonely. Is it possible to eliminate or overcome them? Do you need help changing?
• Make an effort to make friends. Humans are social animals. We depend on each other for mental stability. No one is isolated from the world. “What are we living for, if not to make each other’s lives less difficult?” George Eliot said.
According to Dr. William Glasser: “At all times in our lives, we must have at least one person who cares about us and who we can take care of ourselves. Without this important person, we will not be able to take care of our basic needs.”
• Develop self-love and rediscover self-worth.
• Expand your social circle. It is very important to have a network of friends who can talk, laugh, discuss problems and see how they solve them. “If a man has no new friends in his life, he will soon find himself alone,” said Samuel Johnson.
Cultivate group activities. Go to a movie, a theater or a cricket match.
Use your personal skills to interact and communicate with others.
• Walking, jogging, running, biking, swimming, and other outdoor activities can fight loneliness.
• Get yourself a pet. Animal-assisted therapy has been successful in many cases. Studies show this prevents blood pressure from rising and lowers cholesterol and triglyceride levels.
• Take up fun hobbies that make you forget about yourself. Music, drawing, writing, or gardening are all great hobbies.
• Short-term therapy with professional counselors may be needed to reverse negative emotions, develop positive attitudes, improve communication skills and build friendships. It may take two or three months.
• Involve yourself in social activities. Reach out to the lonely.
George Eliot said: “Try to care about something in the wide world other than the gratification of small selfish desires. Look at the lives of other people around yourself. See what their troubles are and how they endure of.”
• Spend time with family.
• Religion: Draw close to God. He can bring inner healing.
• Nursing home relationships have been shown to be beneficial for lonely seniors.
Loneliness is debilitating, but healable. Blessed are those who have the gift of making friends.
One must learn to say with Robert Burns: “I want someone to laugh with me, to grieve with me, to please me, to help me discern in his or her own words, and sometimes, no doubt, to admire my sensibility. “
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