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Fishing For Snook With a Tactical Fishing Rod and a Bit of Expert Knowledge – Mr Limpett Was a Snook
I love snooker; mostly because I love the Don Knotts movie, “The Incredible Mr. LIMPETT”. It’s about a wimpy guy (Don Knotts) who wants to join the US Navy but can’t because of his eyesight. Anyway, he found himself on the pier, yelling “I wish, I wish, I wish I was a fish.” He fell into the water, and the movie turned into a cartoon, just like Mr. Limpett turned into a fish . Finally, make the world safe for democracy, get a medal, get the girl, live happily ever after, and romp with his main buddy, the ladybug.
While the film doesn’t specify the exact lineage of Mr. Limpett’s murloc alter ego, I suspect he’s a liar. Why? First off, the name “snook” is hilarious in its own right, as is Don Knotts. Plus, snooks are notorious for “creepy” (easy to scare, not scary) fish, and…you guessed it…Don Knotts too. Snook is a wimp when it comes to weather, and it’s no coincidence that “wimp” rhymes with “limp,” the active part of the word “Limpett.” If the water temperature drops below 70 degrees, Snook can’t stand it, and if the temperature drops below 60 degrees, he will absolutely croak, “fins up”… so the biologists told me. In fact, if you talk to anyone who has lived in Florida for a long time, they will tell you that the cold bothers them more than ever. In a way, we are all liars. Or, to hear New Ageers in Florida say about it, “We and snooker are one.”
It’s not well known, but Florida snooks wear sweaters in the cold weather. In terms of temperature, there is no pleasant snook. If it’s not too hot, it’s too cold. It will never be just right. When the water gets too hot, they like to stay under the dock so they don’t have to wear dark glasses. Did you notice that Mr. Limpett wears glasses, but the lenses are not stained? coincide? I do not think so! I’ll take a break.
Still, as Mr. Limpert’s performance as a member of the U.S. Navy proved, Snoke played surprisingly well…and so did Don Knotts.
Now, here’s where my theory comes in: Mr. Limpett’s teeth. You see, in the movie, when he laughs, he has teeth. Unfortunately, snook does not. But, come to think of it, Mr. Limpett’s teeth look suspiciously perfect… like they’re… fake. Hey! We’re back on track! No one, I repeat, no one said anything about snook never wearing dentures. Actually, why do people wear dentures? you are right! Because they have no teeth!
Oh, I know what you’re thinking…yep, the dorsal fin is all wrong. Mr. Limpett has a long, smooth dorsal fin, and the snook has a double dorsal fin…and there is no pinstripe running down Mr. Limpett’s side, like on the snook, right? Well, heck, they’re Warner Bros. cartoonists, not ichthyologists (people who scientifically study fish). Give me a break. Chalk it up to poetic license, okay?
Snook loves Florida. They are often seen wearing “I HEART FLORIDA” tees and ball caps, even though the weather is too warm for a sweater. They become romantic by moonlight, laying eggs at night when a strong full moon appears. Hey guys, I’m not making this stuff up. Saltwater Sportsman Magazine says so! Now, I want to point out that in the movie, Don Knotts has a soft spot for ladybugs. In fact, that’s when we see his teeth. Oh, and when he talks to that little crab. OK then. Full moon, night swimming, romance…you get the idea. He is an absolute liar! I’m doubly convinced now.
Snook likes to hang out near the beach (in the water), looking for baitfish, shrimp, and crabs, but never actually goes to the beach. Neither did Don Knotts. He’s terrified of getting sand kicked in his face by some frat brut named “Biff” or “Brad” or whatever.
Me, I don’t go to the beach either. Kids piss me off. I know they didn’t mean to, but it happens every time I go to the beach to “lay down”. I lay in the sun, started to get a tan, and fell asleep in a few minutes.Then, before I knew it, I was suddenly awakened by six little children in clothes “Save the Manatees” T-shirts, frantically trying to roll me back into the water while they yell, “Come and save us! It’s going to die!”
Back to Snoke: They like structure, and…the Navy is structured. Snoke loves shipwrecks. The Navy has sunk other people’s ships and has some of its own. Snook loves mangrove roots. Now, admittedly, the film makes no reference to mangrove roots at all. I’m at a loss on that, except that kind of structure-like, and the roots look…well, structural, if you look at them a certain way.
Snooks feel less stressed when they are in a structured environment, which pretty much explains why so many have served in the U.S. Navy for billions of years. Free medical care, free dental, free housing, free boat rides…you know the name.
One way snooks are absolutely not picky is in what they eat. Snook is “Mikeys”. They will eat anything they can swallow. Snook loves to eat many things such as sardines, sardines, mullet, needlefish, bait with a stand-up spoon or jighead, but they will never get fat. Personally, I think vertical jigging spoons and leadhead jigs are overrated…unless they’re sautéed to perfection in garlic butter. To actually catch a Snoke with his fish pants off, you’ll need to be a crafty rogue and beat Snoke at his own game. Did he notice that Mr. Limpett was very good at strategy when he was on a top-secret mission for the Navy?
Now back to the capture strategy. If you’re using a jigging spoon, make sure the jig is just heavy enough to touch the bottom (the bottom of the body of water, not the bottom of the Snook. Snook doesn’t have a bottom. Neither does Don Knotts. You Might have realized when you saw him on the Andy Griffith show in his vice trousers). You should take your time, take it easy and let it flow… Kind of like Mayberry’s life, it’s not directly related to Mr. Limpett’s movie, but the cast is the same, right?
When they are in the water and close to the beach, snooks are usually close enough to the surface that you can see them. So line-of-sight projection works really well with snook…so the incredible accuracy of Emmrod’s dock shooting technique is especially handy. The same is true if the lighting happens to be underneath the dock. Those spooky green lights under the pier at night are a magnet for Snoke. They look great in green. It brings out the little gold flecks in their round little fish eyes. Have you noticed that Don Knotts has round eyes?
During the day, Snoke likes to hide under the pier to avoid getting sunburned. At this point, I want to point out that when the incredible Mr. Limpert was in the Navy, they didn’t hand out sunscreen to sailors like they do today, let alone lads.
Snooks are known to be voracious nighttime feeders. Mr. Limpett is so busy during the day building a safe world for democracy that it’s at least 10pm, and no, sometimes as late as 11pm, before he finally pops Swanson’s TV dinner in the microwave. I’m sure that’s not “fish sticks” though.
During the winter, snookers tend to migrate to Florida’s rivers. During that time, trolling is a great way to catch them. Once again, we find something about snook that doesn’t seem to have anything to do with Mr. Limpett’s movie at all. It takes place entirely in the ocean…but then again, isn’t the movie coming out in June? Oh, and in winter they also like to migrate near power plants. Especially the warm waters of nuclear power plants. Well…nuclear power…like…Navy nuclear submarines.
According to Saltwater Sportsman Magazine, the classic snooker baits are baits like the 97MR-18, 65M mirror baits and Heddon Zara Spooks. Now this sounds like military code to me. That “heddon” sounds similar to “full speed ahead!” 97MR-18 is probably just a torpedo.
Well, I think I’ve made my point well enough. Hope this information helps you. anchor!
Good fishing!Joel Johnson
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